the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
