So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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