Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
