just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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