you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
