For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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