When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
