I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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