Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
