I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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