I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
