Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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