Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
