I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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