Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
