My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
