He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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