In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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