I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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