all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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