Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
even my farts smell like vagina
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
