We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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