i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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