Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
