Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
They have beer where we have blood.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
