btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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