The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
