Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize
