i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
