can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
