I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
we're making bets on your personal life
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
