What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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