Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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