in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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