She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
