He asked to "fluff my boner.."
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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