I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
