I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
