Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
