You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
