btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
