I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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