I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
That accounts for only three of the penises
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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