God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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