I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
