no, he came in my armpit
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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