just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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