I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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