try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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