After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
