I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
you never un-have a 4some
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
